| Q: What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake? A: "Hey, whats eating you?"
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| My Husband said he wanted a tie for his birthday that matched the color of his eyes - but where can you find a bloodshot tie?
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| Whats the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating.
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| When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.
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| Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mums too frightened hell break it!
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| I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing Happy Birthday."
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| My Aunt Maud had so many candles on her last birthday cake that all her party guests got sun burnt!
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| A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,"Ill buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday. "Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesnt get her anything. She says, "Why didnt you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didnt use what I got you last year!"
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| Its my wifes birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. - "Oh, I dont know," she said. "Just give me something with diamonds." -
Thats why Im giving her a pack of playing cards.
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| "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." - Next time, take off the candles."
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