| Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. Its a great present but I just cant find the words to thank you enough.
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| My Aunt Maud had so many candles on her last birthday cake that all her party guests got sun burnt!
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| Good news! Ive been given a goldfish for my birthday. . .the bad news is that I dont get the bowl until my next birthday!
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| A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,"Ill buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday. "Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesnt get her anything. She says, "Why didnt you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didnt use what I got you last year!"
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| When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.
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| Whats the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating.
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| Its my wifes birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. - "Oh, I dont know," she said. "Just give me something with diamonds." -
Thats why Im giving her a pack of playing cards.
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| I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing Happy Birthday."
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| "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." - Next time, take off the candles."
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| My Husband said he wanted a tie for his birthday that matched the color of his eyes - but where can you find a bloodshot tie?
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