| Q: What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake? A: "Hey, whats eating you?"
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| Its my wifes birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. - "Oh, I dont know," she said. "Just give me something with diamonds." -
Thats why Im giving her a pack of playing cards.
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| Whats the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating.
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| When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.
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| Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. Its a great present but I just cant find the words to thank you enough.
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| Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mums too frightened hell break it!
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| "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." - Next time, take off the candles."
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| I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing Happy Birthday."
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| Good news! Ive been given a goldfish for my birthday. . .the bad news is that I dont get the bowl until my next birthday!
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| Will you come to my party on Saturday? Yes, please, Whats the address? 25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow. Why with my elbow? Well, you wont be empty-handed, will you!
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