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Welcome to Funny Birthday Jokes, Wishes, Sayings, Greetings, Quotes & Messages!
Funny Birthday Jokes, Wishes, Sayings, Greetings, Quotes & Messages collection that contains only funny birthday jokes.
5 Random Funny Birthday Jokes:
| Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. Its a great present but I just cant find the words to thank you enough.
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| | | | "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." - Next time, take off the candles."
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| | | | One starts to get young at the age of sixty and then it is too late. - Pablo Picasso.
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| | | | Q: What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake? A: "Hey, whats eating you?"
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| | | | Looking fifty is great--if youre sixty. - Joan Rivers.
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10 Highest Rated Birthday Jokes:
| Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
- Robert Southey
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| | | | A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,"Ill buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday. "Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesnt get her anything. She says, "Why didnt you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didnt use what I got you last year!"
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| | | | "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." - Next time, take off the candles."
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| | | | Whats the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating.
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| | | | I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing Happy Birthday."
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| | | | A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "Id love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach tu
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| | | | Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mums too frightened hell break it!
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| | | | Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. Its a great present but I just cant find the words to thank you enough.
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| | | | Good news! Ive been given a goldfish for my birthday. . .the bad news is that I dont get the bowl until my next birthday!
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| | | | Will you come to my party on Saturday? Yes, please, Whats the address? 25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow. Why with my elbow? Well, you wont be empty-handed, will you!
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| 10 Newest Birthday Jokes:
| One starts to get young at the age of sixty and then it is too late. - Pablo Picasso.
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| | | | You take all of the experience and judgment of men over 50 out of the world and there wouldnt be enough left to run it. - Henry Ford.
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| | | | At age 50, everyone has the face he deserves. - George Orwell.
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| | | | Looking fifty is great--if youre sixty. - Joan Rivers.
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| | | | The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down. - T.S. Eliot.
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| | | | Forty is the old age of youth: fifty is the youth of old age. - French Proverb.
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| | | | A man of sixty has spent twenty years in bed and over three years in eating. - Arnold Bennett.
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| | | | Just remember, once youre over the hill you begin to pick up speed. - Charles Schulz.
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| | | | "A diplomat is a man who always remembers a womans birthday but never remembers her age." - Anonymous.
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| | | | "Age is just a number and mine is unlisted." - Anonymous.
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